Starting Smart: Why Your Adult Kids Should Consider Prenups

Triangle Smart Divorce is pleased to provide this guest post by Meghan Freed, Esq., co-founder of award-winning Connecticut divorce and family law firm Freed Marcroft. We share similar philosophies on reducing drama during divorce and how prenuptial agreements can help in both Connecticut and North Carolina. 

As children grow into independent adults, our greatest hope is that they thrive in their personal and financial lives. That’s why it’s essential to at least consider prenuptial agreements, or prenups, as they embark on their journey towards marriage.   

Many newly engaged people are primarily focused on wedding planning rather than on planning for the marriage itself. They’re certainly not planning for the possibility of a divorce down the road. Although at first blush, prenuptial agreements may not seem like the most romantic topic, they do more than offer valuable protection in the event of a divorce or separation.  Critically, prenups also lead to open and honest conversations about the fiancés’ expectations and assets before they tie the knot.  This transparency actually improves the marriage itself.  Plus, by considering a prenup, they’re taking proactive steps to protect their financial interests and ensure a fair and equitable outcome if the worst-case scenario happens. Additionally, many people don’t realize that when you get married without a prenup, you “opt-in” to a set of laws about divorce.  The prenup process not only educates the couple about divorce laws in their state but, in many cases, allows them to “opt-out” of those laws and structure things how they choose instead.   

In this article, we’ll delve into why your adult kids should seriously consider prenups, providing insights and guidance to help them make informed decisions. We will also give tips on talking to your adult children about prenups.   

The Importance of Prenuptial Agreements for Your Adult Children 

Prenuptial agreements are not just for celebrities or wealthy individuals. They serve as important legal documents that can protect the financial interests of any couple. Prenups also help keep control over the fiancés’ future where it belongs — with the two fiancés themselves.  And, if they should decide to divorce down the road, a prenup can reduce drama and expense and increase privacy and efficiency. While discussing the possibility of divorce with your children may be uncomfortable, you are the key to helping them understand the benefits of putting a prenup in place. Doing so empowers them to take control of their financial future and pre-decide what would be a fair distribution of assets in the event of a divorce. 

Safeguard Assets 

One of the key advantages of a prenuptial agreement is the ability to safeguard individual assets brought into the marriage. Many adult children have worked hard to accumulate wealth, and a prenup can protect their pre-marital assets from being divided during a divorce. This is particularly important if one partner has significantly more assets than the other or complex financial arrangements, such as a family business or investments, are involved.   

Address Debt 

Another essential aspect to consider is debt. Prenuptial agreements can outline how debts will be divided in the event of a divorce, preventing one partner from being burdened with the other’s financial obligations. This can be especially relevant if one partner has substantial student loans or credit card debt.  It can be a very loving act when their future spouse wants to ensure they aren’t burdened with substantial debt like student loans. 


Finally, a prenuptial agreement can address the issue of spousal support or alimony. Your adult children can avoid lengthy, contentious, and expensive court battles by establishing clear guidelines for spousal support in the event of a divorce before they even wed. This can give them peace of mind and financial security during difficult times. 

Common Misconceptions About Prenuptial Agreements 

Despite the numerous benefits, several common misconceptions surrounding prenuptial agreements may deter your adult children from considering one. Addressing these misconceptions and providing accurate information is vital to help your children make informed decisions. 

One of the most prevalent misconceptions is that prenuptial agreements are only necessary for couples with significant wealth. While it is true that high-net-worth individuals often use prenups, they can be beneficial for couples at any income level. A prenup can protect assets, investments, and even future income, regardless of the current financial situation. 

Another misconception is that prenuptial agreements are a sign of mistrust or lack of commitment. In reality, a prenup is a proactive step towards financial security and fairness. It allows couples to have open and honest conversations about their expectations and financial goals, which can strengthen their relationship in the long run. By approaching the topic of a prenup with understanding and support, you can help dispel these misconceptions and encourage your adult children to consider the benefits. 

It is also essential to address the misconception that prenuptial agreements are unromantic. While discussing finances may not be the most glamorous aspect of a relationship, it is a practical and responsible step toward building a solid foundation for the future. Emphasize that a prenup is not a reflection of the couple’s love or commitment but rather a way to protect their financial interests and ensure a fair outcome in the event of a divorce. 

Addressing these misconceptions and providing accurate information can help your adult children understand the value of a prenuptial agreement and decide whether it is right for them. 

Understanding the Legal & Financial Implications of Marriage 

Marriage is not only an emotional commitment but also a financial and legal one. It is important for your adult children to understand marriage’s legal and financial implications and how a prenuptial agreement can give them and their fiancé the ability to design their own future. 

One significant aspect to consider is the division of assets acquired during the marriage. Without a prenup, the state laws where the couple resides will determine how assets are divided in the event of a divorce. These laws may not align with the couple’s wishes or expectations. Via a prenuptial agreement, the couple can specify how they want their assets to be divided, ensuring an outcome that’s fair and equitable to them. 

Additionally, a prenup can address the issue of debts acquired during the marriage. Many couples accumulate joint debts, such as mortgages or car loans, during their time together. A prenuptial agreement can outline how these debts will be divided in the event of a divorce, preventing one partner from being solely responsible for the financial burden. 

It is also important to consider the future earning potential of each partner. A prenup can establish guidelines for spousal support or alimony, ensuring that both parties are treated fairly in the event of a divorce. This can help alleviate financial stress and uncertainty, allowing your adult children to focus on their future. 

By understanding the financial implications of marriage and the potential benefits of a prenuptial agreement, your adult children can make informed decisions that protect their interests and provide peace of mind. 

How Prenuptial Agreements Protect Assets and Investments 

One of the primary reasons why your adult children should consider a prenuptial agreement is the protection it offers for their assets and investments. Whether they have substantial savings, a successful business, or valuable investments, a prenup can ensure that these assets remain separate and protected in the event of a divorce.  When there’s a family business, home, or wealth that impacts you as the parents and perhaps your other children as well, this piece is especially critical.  

Without a prenup, all assets acquired during the marriage are typically considered marital property and are subject to division during a divorce. What is included in marital property – and how it should be divided – can be a very contentious (and therefore upsetting, time-consuming, and expensive) issue in a divorce.  However, all of this can be cleaned up and clarified in a prenuptial agreement.  In other words, your adult children can establish that certain assets are to remain separate property, not subject to division.  And, together with their partner they can decide how to divide it. 

A prenup can also protect the growth and appreciation of pre-marital assets. For example, if your adult child owns a business before getting married, a prenuptial agreement can specify that the business and its future profits remain their sole property. This can be crucial in preserving the value of the business and ensuring its continued success, even in the event of a divorce. 

Furthermore, a prenup can protect investments made during the marriage. If your adult children have invested in stocks, real estate, or other ventures, a prenuptial agreement can outline how these investments will be divided or retained in the event of a divorce. This can help prevent disputes and ensure the outcome that both parties pre-decide is fair. 

A prenuptial agreement provides a legal framework for protecting assets and investments. By establishing clear guidelines for property division, your adult children can safeguard their financial interests and prevent unnecessary conflicts during a divorce. 

Exploring Alternative Options for Protecting Assets and Investments 

If you have a family business, real estate, or generational wealth, a prenup can help ensure that property stays in the family if one of your children divorces.  If your son or daughter is engaged and decides against a prenup, consult an experienced attorney to see what other options are available to secure your family’s financial future.  One option is a postnuptial agreement, which is similar to a prenup but is entered into after the marriage has already taken place. While a postnup may not be as comprehensive as a prenuptial agreement, it can still provide some level of protection in the event of a divorce or separation. Additionally, trusts can be used to safeguard assets and ensure they are passed down to future generations according to the individual’s wishes. Trusts can be beneficial when complex family dynamics or significant wealth are involved. 

Steps to Take When Discussing Prenuptial Agreements with Your Adult Children 

Discussing prenuptial agreements with your adult children can be sensitive and delicate. However, with the right approach and open communication, you can help them understand the importance of considering a prenup and guide them through their decision-making. 

  1. Choose the right time and place: Find a comfortable and private setting where you and your adult children can converse openly and honestly. Avoid discussing the topic during a stressful or emotional time, such as in the middle of wedding planning. 
  2. Approach the conversation with empathy and understanding: Understand that your adult children may have reservations or concerns about prenuptial agreements. Listen attentively to their thoughts and feelings and validate their emotions. Avoid being judgmental or dismissive. 
  3. Educate them about the benefits: Provide your adult children with accurate information about prenuptial agreements and their potential benefits. Explain how the process of creating a prenup actually enhances communication and understanding between couples.  Emphasize that it is a proactive step towards financial security and fairness and allows them to pre-decide what’s fair together, rather than waiting to find out what the law says down the line and being stuck with it. 
  4. Share real-life examples: Share stories or examples of your friends or your friends’ adult kids who have benefited from a prenuptial agreement. Highlight how it helped them protect their assets, avoid lengthy legal battles, and maintain amicable relationships during a divorce.  Great divorce lawyers like Jenny Bradley and her team have plenty of stories about couples who grew closer during the prenup process.  For example, Freed Marcroft’s family attorneys have noticed that it’s quite rare to have a prenup client return to us for a divorce.  In other words, prenups don’t make divorce more likely –anecdotally, they may make divorce less common.
  5. Involve a neutral third party: If your adult children are hesitant to discuss prenups with you, suggest involving a neutral third party, such as a family lawyer or financial advisor. Offer to pay for the meeting if you think that’s appropriate. This can provide them with an objective perspective and expert guidance. 
  6. Respect their decision: Ultimately, deciding whether to have a prenuptial agreement is up to your adult children. Respect their autonomy and support them regardless of their choice. Reassure them that you are there to provide guidance and assistance throughout the process. 

By following these steps, you can navigate the conversation about prenuptial agreements with your adult children in a respectful and supportive manner. Remember, the goal is to empower them to make the best-informed decisions for themselves. 

 Conclusion: Empowering Adult Children to Make Informed Decisions 

As parents, we all want our adult children to thrive in their personal and financial lives as they embark on their journey towards marriage. Encouraging them to consider prenuptial agreements is not just about protecting assets in the event of a divorce; it’s about fostering open and honest communication about expectations and financial matters.  

Prenups empower couples to take control of their financial future and decide together what’s fair and equitable. While misconceptions about prenuptial agreements may deter some, it’s important to dispel these myths and emphasize the practicality and responsibility of such contracts. Discussing prenups with empathy and understanding, educating them about the benefits, and involving neutral experts, if necessary, can help your adult children make informed decisions that safeguard their financial interests and ensure a strong foundation for their marriage.