Facing domestic violence is one of the most frightening and isolating experiences anyone can endure. And your abuser wants it that way.  Know that you deserve safety, support, and a path forward that protects you. You are not alone in this journey, and taking steps to protect yourself is an act of courage.

If you are currently experiencing domestic violence, then you should strongly consider filing for a Domestic Violence Protective Order – sometimes referred to as DVPOs, protective orders, civil restraining orders, or 50Bs – to ask the Court to restrain your aggressor from being able to come near you, contact you, or continue to engage in the abusive behaviors.  

Here’s something important to understand: DVPOs are not criminal charges. They provide you with civil protection (and your abuser can be charged with a crime if they violate the terms of the DVPO).  

While many people first hear of DVPOs after reporting violence to the police, seeking civil protection and the State pressing criminal charges are separate—and the remedies and relief you can get are different. Sometimes there are criminal charges taken out by the State and a DVPO is requested, and sometimes there is one or the other. Neither option is right or wrong.  Any attorney with experience working with victims of domestic violence can help you evaluate your next steps. 

Who qualifies for a Domestic Violence Protection Order in North Carolina?  

DVPOs are available to survivors of violence who have a qualifying relationship with their abuser. Under the statute, qualifying relationships are: 

  • current or former spouses; 
  • persons of opposite sex who live together or have lived together; 
  • related as parents and children or as grandparents and grandchildren; 
  • have a child in common; 
  • are current or former household members; or 
  • are in a dating relationship or have been in a dating relationship.  

In summary, the abuser must have a close personal or familial relationship with the victim. If you don’t fit into one of these categories, don’t panic – there are other ways to get protection, but they are through a separate legal process and are typically criminal in nature.  

How to start the process to file for a DVPO in NC? 

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step – in this case, filing a Complaint. Sample forms can be found by clicking here.  Instructions for the DVPO form packet are found HERE. 

You can fill out all the required forms ahead of time or simply go to your local courthouse and ask for the paperwork. Every courthouse is required to have the paperwork on hand – it’s like expecting a coffee shop to have coffee. It’s their job. 

While the Courthouse employees cannot give you legal advice, they can provide general assistance with understanding what forms to use.  In some counties, a victim’s advocate may be at the Courthouse and can help you.  Also, you can hire an attorney to file a domestic violence complaint for you. 

What to know when drafting Domestic Violence Protection Order in North Carolina?  

If you are representing yourself, there are a few things you should know.  It is extremely important to be detailed and specific when drafting your Complaint. You need to make sure that you are effectively explaining to the Judge why you qualify for protection and what has been going on.  

You should start with all recent acts of domestic violence, whether physical or psychological–recent events that caused you to take out the protective order–and flesh out any background details to show a pattern or history of abuse.   Refer to dates and times.  Name any witnesses. 

Each section of the Complaint addresses a different issue. Since some events can fit into multiple categories, you can mention them more than once. Just be sure to focus on why that incident is applicable to that section.  If you need more space, the Courthouse staff will provide you with an additional form.   

Some filers find that it is helpful to have an attorney draft or review the Complaint before they file to make sure that the best possible document is being presented to the Judge. And some filers wish to have an attorney with them in Court at the initial request for a DVPO to help navigate the Courthouse and Courtroom and to give them comfort and support. 

What happens after the DVPO Complaint is filed?  

If ex parte relief (emergency/temporary) is requested, you will go in front of a Judge who will determine if you should receive immediate relief before the other side has notice and an opportunity to be heard (that’s what ex parte means–”from one side.”  The Judge’s review of your Complaint is often the same day you file.  

The Judge will read your Complaint and might ask you to share what has been going on. In most cases, the abuser is not present. This is your chance to explain to the Judge why you need help.  

If the Judge thinks you need immediate protection, the Court will enter a temporary ex parte protective order. That Order is typically in place for about ten days. After those ten days, a return hearing will be set where both parties will get to go to Court and have a hearing on the issue to see if a full protective order needs to be put in place. To find out what to expect during that return hearing, go here: (link to What Happens at a Domestic Violence Protective Order Hearing in North Carolina)  

During those ten days, the Defendant will be served with the temporary order and/or the date to return to Court. You will also have another opportunity to seek legal counsel if you choose. Many Plaintiffs choose to seek legal counsel for the return hearing even if they filed the paperwork on their own.  

Be aware that sometimes the “10 day return hearing” can move around on the calendar like a game of musical chairs. It can be continued or extended for many reasons, such as the Defendant was not served with the Complaint and Notice of Hearing, the Defendant needs more time to hire counsel, the Defendant has criminal charges for some of the some acts and wishes to resolve those first, your attorney needs a new date, you need a new date due to a scheduling conflict, and more.  In most cases, the ex parte order stays in place during any period of continuance so that you are not prejudiced by any delay in the return hearing. 

Also, on occasion a Judge will dismiss your Complaint and find that the words in your Complaint do not give the Court reason to grant an ex parte DVPO.  In those cases, the case is usually dismissed without prejudice, and it is possible to refile and flesh out more facts to support a future DVPO.  

Or the Judge can decline issuing an ex parte DVPO but set your case on for a hearing where the other side has the opportunity to participate in the hearing.  This is called “for hearing only” and typically occurs within 10 days from the filing of your initial Complaint.  In these cases, you have no DVPO in place so a continuance might be harmful to you.  We highly recommend that you give the Sheriff all the information you have on where and when to find the Defendant and that you have hired your attorney, unless you are representing yourself, prior to the hearing date so that you reduce the chances of a continuance. 

Are You a Victim of Domestic Violence? Triangle Smart Divorce Is Here For You 

If you’re considering a Domestic Violence Protective Order or have questions about your specific situation, our compassionate Team at Triangle Smart Divorce is here to help. We understand the sensitivity and urgency of these matters and can provide the guidance you need during this difficult time. Our experienced attorneys can help you navigate the DVPO process, represent you at hearings, and make sure your voice is heard in Court. 

Contact Triangle Smart Divorce today for a confidential consultation.